sometimes you just have to face it


Let’s face it…

Sometimes you just have to face it.  As it turns out when we face the inside it’s easier to accept and love the outside.  But it starts with what’s going on~ on the inside.  What am I talking about here? Well I’m thinking about my face– which like the rest of the body changes as I grow in age.  I’ve noticed that it looks more chiseled around the perimeter, quite angular as opposed to rounder.  This also depends on the plus and minus of my weight, which fluctuates an average of about five pounds or so depending on my diet and that time of month. Girls everywhere know that sometimes the diet is the result of that time of month.  But there’s also water weight, and time-of-day and and and…OK so I’m splitting hairs here.  But overall I’ve noticed my face change as I grow, which is what happens—from young girl with supple-soft-dewy-tight skin to Britney Spear’s ‘I’m not a girl not yet a woman’ phase of makeup and moisturizer.  To now, pure unadulterated womanhood, a world where everyday language is collagen, hyaluronic acid and eye cream.  So let me tell you a little about my face–strong jaw line, high cheek bones, flared nose, unruly thick brows and tarantula eyelashes.

Growing up I’d not always loved my jaw line, thinking it was too severe, too strong.  I’d plucked my brows into oblivion, so thin and into all kinds of oops moments that looked like I had my eyes closed when I did them.  My nose was my arch enemy as a teen.  I wished it was pointier, sleeker and just different.  Pointier, sleeker, different was what was popular.  It’s what I’d seen on television, in magazines, on billboards.  I thought of putting a clothes pin on my nose to train it while I slept but that was too painful.  And then there was my forehead. {Sigh. Pout. Sad face} The place on my face I was really not fond of after experiencing some long hurtful years of teasing in primary school which ended up giving me a complex.  And you know what?  After all those years it turns out that the kid who was teasing me had a crush on me the whole time.  But what was fun for him was slowly turning into seeds of inadequacy for me—the beginning of me not liking my features and looking around at those of others instead.  A pointier nose, a flatter forehead, less of this, more of that, like her and HER and her too.  It wasn’t a dramatic time, quite subtle in fact but it was happening, and it was happening quietly– on the inside of me.

One of the awesome things about aging though— about growing up, waking up wiser, living through some things—is that your perspective (not always, but hopefully) changes—and while it does take some work, it does take rolling up your sleeves and hand wrestling the inner demons that have taunted, prodded, provoked and even befriended you over the years–it is possible. Yes sometimes you just have to face it.  Because one day you realize that all along that same jaw line, that exact forehead, those seemingly unruly thick brows and cheek bones all come together to create your face—it’s specific, it’s special, it is beautiful.  Not to mention, that nose is a family heirloom.  That means generation.  That means legacy.  That means identity.

So just in case there’s a feature or two or three that you have a hard time cherishing repeat after me…

It is specific.  It is special.  It is beautiful.  It is specific.  It is special.  It is beautiful.  It is specific.  It is special.  It is beautiful.  One more time.  I am specific.  I am special.  I AM BEAUTIFUL.

Genius.  Truly, the whole thing is genius.

Inspired by  Psalm 139:14  and Genesis 1:27

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